Monday, February 3, 2020

Why I'm Retiring from Professional Sewing

Criss Cross Applesauce Pillow by Heidi Staples of Fabric Mutt

Oh, my friends, this is a hard one . . . a long one. And I'll need you to be patient with me, because even as I'm typing this sentence, I'm struggling to find the words and to keep the tears from falling. But there's a happy ending to this story, I promise. So let's begin at the beginning . . .

In the fall of 2011, I was an exhausted stay-at-home mother of three little girls under the age of five. My days were long, full of dishes and laundry and mindless cartoons, swinging wildly between frantic activity and tedious boredom. I loved the time I was investing in my daughters, but it was a challenge that left me burned out and stale by the end of each week. It quickly became obvious that I needed some time to play.

And so I tried quilting. 

It wasn’t until I started sewing that I realized how desperate I had been for creative playtime. It energized me, gave me a break from the craziness to breathe and think and make again. I look back on those early days now and smile. 

My new hobby started a chain reaction that I honestly never expected when I first picked it up. It would be easy to say that everything just happened all at once, that it was completely beyond my control, but I know that's not really true. A combination of factors caused things to take off in a big way over that first year -- my love for sewing, my need for community and acceptance, my sometimes compulsive personality that leads me to chase new pursuits with a passion that borders on obsession, and just being in the right place at the right time. And like so many things in life, it was both wonderful and difficult together.

My quilting led me to blogging which then led me to social media. Over time, I sewed samples for fabric companies and publishers, hosted blog tours and sew alongs, and eventually wrote my first book, Sew Organized for the Busy Girl for C&T Publishing. This led to more sample sewing, more blog tours, pattern writing for magazines, and invitations to teach and share my projects. I got the opportunity of a lifetime when Riley Blake Designs gave me a contract to design fabric for them, and I threw myself into the work with a fervor, spending countless hours at my computer sketching ideas for fabric collections. When Lucky Spool gave me the chance to write a second book, Patchwork USA, I was overjoyed, pulling together years of patterns and stories to create what was definitely my favorite project yet. I couldn't have been more thrilled when it was finally published last July.

On the flip side, balancing my creative pursuits along with homeschooling my daughters, keeping house, and staying involved in family and church activities was getting more difficult by the day. "I don't know how you do it all!" people would say, and I felt desperate to maintain that image of being both capable and creative, a busy person with important things to do. But there was no denying that the hobby I adored had become all consuming work, and I was struggling to hold it all together. My own perfectionism and the constant pressure to keep producing as much as I could had sent my to-do list spinning out of control. 

My family was getting the short end of the stick in so many ways. I shudder now to think of how many times my girls asked me to play with them, only to hear, “Not now . . . Mommy has to finish this first.”  And of course, whenever I finished that thing, there was the next thing. So many afternoons and evenings my wonderfully supportive husband took the girls outside to ride bicycles or swim or play in the front yard so that I could meet upcoming deadlines on time. And I would sit upstairs glued to my computer screen or my sewing machine, every now and then glancing outside the window to see them all having fun together down below, feeling an ache in my heart because I was missing out on moments that I knew I could never get back. Even when I was with them, I wasn't always really there emotionally. I remember taking the girls out for a mommy-daughter lunch one day. We placed our order, sat down in a booth, and I automatically pulled my cell phone out of my pocket to check emails. My oldest daughter reached out her hand and gently placed it over the screen. "Stay in the moment, Mommy," she said quietly, with a meaningful look that cut me to the heart.

It was almost two years ago that I started having unexplained health problems leading to doctor visits, with every one ending in the same diagnosis: “It’s stress. You’re doing too much. You’ve got to slow down.” With each warning, I promised the doctors and my worried family that I would handle it this time, really. Yet every time I tried to scale back my commitments, they slowly crept back in . . . and so did the ongoing stress and fatigue. I wanted to have it all, but I didn't know how to manage it all. Eight years ago, the solution to my stress was sewing. Now sewing seemed to be the problem.

But I didn’t want to stop sewing. I just wanted to find a way to make it fun again. How could I return to the place where I began, those early days spent happily stitching away at my dining room table while my toddlers played nearby? Could I rediscover the hobby that I loved so much? Was there a way to balance creativity and everything else in my life? I knew that something had to change, but I didn't know how.

And then last week I was hit hard by a sudden serious infection with which my burned out immune system seemed completely unable to cope. The fact that it wasn't life threatening didn't make it any less frightening, but it was, at last, the wake-up call I had been needing. There's something about lying on your bed in a state of pain, helplessness, and total exhaustion that has a way of clearing the mind. I finally came to grips with the fact that my health and my family had to come first -- truly first -- and that the only way to do it was to make a clean break with the work that was throwing my priorities out of order. There were still tears and discussions with family and plenty of emails to write, but for the first time in ages, I felt a peace that had been lacking in my heart for too long. I had the power to make a choice, and this was the one I wanted to make.

So what does this mean going forward? It means that at the end of February, after I finish two more blog tour commitments which I want to honor, I will be retiring from professional sewing. It means that I will no longer be doing blog tours for sewing books or fabric collections, and that all my teaching will be at home with my three precious girls. It means that I won't be writing any more patterns for magazines or subscription boxes. And it means letting go of a third book which I've been working on for the last nine months. I can't even begin to express to you how hard it is for me to walk away from these things, but I know without a doubt that it's what I need to do.

Yet the truth is that, in spite of my sadness and regret, I feel so incredibly blessed! I've gotten to have a fantastic side career for all these years, work with all kinds of unbelievably talented people, learn a host of new skills, and meet so many dear friends from all over the world in the process. It's been one of the most amazing experiences of my entire life, and I'm deeply grateful for it.

And just because I won't be working professionally anymore does NOT mean that I won't be sewing and blogging and dropping in on social media. Things will be a little different, of course. There will be more works in progress, I think, and more slow sewing, and sometimes just me talking about what's going on in this new life experiment I'm beginning. In the weeks ahead, I'll show you some of the projects I've been working on in secret over the past year for that third book I'd been planning (like the sneaky peek at the top of this post!), and it will be so much fun to finally share them with you.

Honestly, I'm still coming to terms with this change in my life, still figuring out what it's going to look like. It reminds me of when we moved to Texas five years ago and let our dogs Emma and Fritz out into our huge backyard for the first time. After growing up playing on the small patch of grass in our suburban California backyard surrounded by a cinder block wall, they had no idea how to handle the massive stretch of lawn behind our new home on almost two acres of land. That first evening, they stepped cautiously through the gate, sniffing as they went, and slowly they started to walk and then run between the trees with their tongues hanging out their mouths as if they were laughing. It was all good until Emma suddenly spotted the neighbor's dog through the metal fence posts. Having no experience with a see-through fence, she thought she could run through it, headed straight for the unfamiliar dog at breakneck speed, and slammed right into the metal bars. I thought she had killed herself for a minute, but she got up and shook her head in a daze while James went to go bend the bars back into place. I have a feeling that this new life may be something like that for me. At times I'm going to be unsure of myself and go slowly, some days I'm going to be giddy with freedom, and once in a while I'm going to crash and have to shake it off while I figure out what my new boundaries are going to be.

But for now I'm going to rest and heal, read more books, sit outside with my girls while they show me how well they can ride their bikes, have coffee with James without talking endlessly about my to-do list, and enjoy the fun of starting a new sewing project without having to write down any measurements while I do it. I suppose that sewing, like anything else in life, can pull you to pieces if you turn it into something it was never meant to be: a compulsive assembly line, a popularity contest, the measure of your worth. It's time for me to slow down and appreciate this hobby for what it is, to remember why I loved it in the first place, this chance to make something beautiful with my own two hands.

I'm finding my way back to joy, friends, and it feels a lot like going home.

73 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness Heidi!! I wish you nothing but the best, I can't even imagine how hard of a decision this must have been for you. The struggle is real girl and I appreciate you so much for talking about this. And also, that sneak peek is to die for! Happy sewing friend! Especially now that the pressure is off!

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  2. When we make the right choice, God gives us peace. I’m so looking forward to your new stress free life for you and your family!

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  3. Oh, Heidi, thank you so much for this post. I am so happy for you, that you made this choice for yourself and your family. At about the same time you got into quilting and social media, I did too and I remember thinking how lucky were these bloggers who got to design fabric and all the rest. I wanted it too. But I already had a full time job, so I never really pursued it. I told myself that I wanted my quilting to stay fun and a hobby and not ever become work. Somewhere along the way I finally believed myself, and I'm glad. I think you are at that place now. I am glad you will continue to blog. I love seeing your projects and as a long time follower, I remember your early blogs about sewing and your sweet girls. I miss them too. I still have a pillow you sent to me when I was battling breast cancer, back in 2015 and I treasure it. I thought it was such a generous thing for such a talent, that I had never personally met. So thank you again for that, and best wishes on this new phase of your life. I will still be here watching you and enjoying your sewing exploits. With love...Charlotte

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  4. Congratulations on your life changing decision. I wish you health and happiness. I just lost my brother last week at age 62, a good lesson to go do all the things that make you happy!

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  5. So happy for you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with all of us.

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  6. Grace and peace to you and your family. Enjoy the journey❣️

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  7. This is so sweet. I love your choice-Family❤️

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  8. I am sure this has been a difficult decision but likely the correct one for you. Since I just discovered you I will look for your new journey in months to come. That said, you are fortunate that this opportunity to reclaim your life is possible. I wish you the best of luck and good health.

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  9. It was clearly a very difficult decision--but one that I'm sure you will never regret. The sewing industry will still be there when your girls are grown. Enjoy!

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  10. Hugs Heidi! Watch out for the fences Friend but run free ❤️

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  11. Your last paragraph says it all. Best wishes! Enjoy your kiddos, they'll be grown before you know it. Blessings and hugs.

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  12. Thanks for sharing, I had tears while reading your post. I think many of us can relate to your situation. I wish the best for you and your family.

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  13. I hear your struggle and admire your strength.You will get thru this...enjoy your girls, your family and your SELF...💗

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  14. I hear so much wisdom and courage in this story. Praying for you in this season of transition!

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  15. I do understand! After running full out for over 25 years in my quilting career, it all came to a screeching halt two years ago when I had a stroke. I could do no hand work, or pin or machine sew for over 15 months. Because of some residual paralysis on my left side, I am still unable to do hand work, so now I machine piece, walking foot quilt instead of hand, and try to make lemonade out of lemons. I'm so very proud of what you have accomplished; it's always good to go out at the top of your game! Good luck wherever this venture leads you and look forward to all the good changes coming your way!

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  16. I think I “followed” you for all those years. I’ve enjoyed all of it. I’m proud of you for taking steps to do what you want the most!

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  17. Well, that is a great decision. I hope you rediscover your joy in sewing and quilting for fun. I’m really glad you are looking after yourself ❤️

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  18. Heidi I am so pleased for you! It's so hard to find balance in life and brave to recognise when things have tipped too far. Happy to hear you'll still be active and I have long followed you and admired your work. May you find so much joy in projects and enjoy a rest from the hustle. I found myself nodding along with so much of what you said and my experience has been similar. The production line / sewing to deadlines is so different from being able to sew what you want, when you feel like it and that can be stifling. Enjoy you family and your making xx

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  19. Heidi, I can only imagine how hard it was to make this decision that you know if right for you now. I look forward to seeing what you've been hiding these last months. Best of luck on your new steps ahead. Enjoy the road ahead.

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  20. Yes! This! We all need to learn to nurture and feed the soul - and not feel guilty about it (mindfulness). I hope you are able to regain the joy of simply sewing for fun. You had it once and can have it again. I look forward to reading more about your journey.

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  21. Bless you Heidi! What a ride you have been on, and I really respect you for stepping back and refocusing. Glad I'll still see you here, though, as time allows...

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  22. This would have been such a hard decision to reach, but it sounds like you're going to have so more time for fun and 'you' sewing. Family time is super important and our kiddies seem to grow up in the blink of an eye. Wishing you all the best xxxx

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  23. Heidi, may the road in front of you bring you endless joy! The first bag I ever made was a Malibu Satchel, compliments of your wonderful pattern. I've enjoyed following your time in "blog land" and will Look forward to your continued presence doing what you love, just for fun!

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  24. Change is hard but so necessary sometimes. This can't have been easy for you to decide but YOU and your health and peace of mind come first. Hugs and prayers. x

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  25. Hallo Heidi, I wish you all the best by taking it slower and anjoying your life. Love how you wrote it down for us.

    Best love and greetings from Holland, Marita Boutens

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  26. Let's God help you in your " new" life. Life is it: changes!
    Hope you enjoy your family.
    Kisses from Oporto, Portugal 😘💙


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  27. Oh sweet friend, I'm so happy that you are taking the time you need for yourself and your family. I have no doubt this was a difficult decision to make, but rest assured, the community that you love and that loves you so much will not be going away. We will be right here cheering you on your new adventure. Sending you so much love.
    Amanda

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  28. It sounds like you made the right decision. We are both blessed with a life that gives us many options and sometimes saying “no” to a wonderful oppotunity is the most difficult decision but the best one to make. Selfishly, I am grateful that you will continue blogging. I enjoy your posts even though I do not generally comment.

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  29. Congrats! in a way..... I understand (I think)from whence you come! We can let our passions get out of hand. Hubby calls my quilt shop "a hobby gone WILD!" Looking forward to your being in better health and Happy!

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  30. You have had fantastic journey ....now it's time for you and yours...take it and heal well.

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  31. Congratulations! I am so glad to hear that you are doing this. I know God will give you the strengtha and wisdom to set a balance in your life for what matters most. While I am so excited to see young women thriving and enjoying quilting, I often wonder how they are really doing with their most important obligations. I am encouraging you to keep going on this path that you have begun and watch out for that fence!

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  32. I miss sure this has been a very difficult decision but you will be blessed beyond measure because of it. I love what your daughter said about living in the moment. I cared for my dad for 4 yrs through open heart surgery, astage 4 cancer diagnosis, tons of doctor appointments all the while knowing the end of his life was nearing too quickly. I learned to live in the moment during this time. We are not guarenteed a tomorrow so we need to make today count. It's been over 5 years since his passing and I still try to remember to live in the moment. Your girls won't stay little forever. As a mom of 3 adult sons I know how fast they grow up and then out. Hang onto every second you have with them, moment by moment, then when you look back you will know you made the right choice. Hugs

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  33. Oh Heidi...I so understand. You will be so missed my friend. Older than you by at least a mile, I read these blogs and do say HOW do they do this as I remember trying to work w/ 3 kids, support them in all their endeavors and leaving no time for me. It seemed that the 1st paragraph of each letter I wrote started off with "I'm so stressed". This was such a smart decision on your part although I WILL miss you. Does your blog disappear immediately at the end of Feb? Best of luck to you, Susan

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  34. I'm happy for you! You are doing the next right thing -by faith you've stepped away from one place into a better one for you at this time. Your 'back yard' just got bigger! Bless you- I'm looking forward to seeing your new 'patterns'.

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  35. Wishing you all the best - Family and Home should ALWAYS follow GOD in the order of what's important in life!

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  36. I have enjoyed following your blog and want to thank you. I totally understand why you are retiring

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  37. I've subscribed to your blog, bought your books, your fabric, your patterns. And yet, I didn't know many of these things about you. You decided to "try quilting" in 2011 and in 8 years have built up this quilting career. I'm seriously impressed. There are so many things I would love to learn from you as I've been quilting for 20 years and have tried to build a career for the past 2-3 years. But let me just say that I'm impressed. You're an inspiration. And I know you'll find pure joy in quilting for YOU. xoxo

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  38. Much love to you Heidi.
    We get one life. Family is always the most important.
    Keep your blog up,it will always be a resource for others.
    I wish and pray for you much happiness and joy.
    You are not alone. I am taking care of my retired hubby, and my 96 year old daddy and a gramma to 4 adorable girls, two daughters, two wonderful sons in law, and the list goes on. Family is important. Keep sewing and just continue to make family memories and heirlooms
    Love, Rosemary

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  39. Just randomly ran across your blog this morning. A very brave decision, but one that will be honored by God and cherished by your children and husband. When mine were little and I was homeschooling there was a seminar by ... I think, Greg Harris. The point was there are seasons in our lives when it makes sense to do things. This season when your dear children are small will never return. I wish you well.

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  40. Bravo!!! You are such a wise and gifted woman. I am thrilled that once again your family life (that includes You) will be the primary source and recipient of your attention. Bravo! From a McKinney girl who has been on the journey, enjoy it daily. Play games, sing, ride bikes, be in the moment Mommy!

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  41. time to take time for you and family!

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  42. Oh Heidi. Good for you, good for you. I know this is a difficult decision, but the investment in your family, in your girls and James, is the best choice to make. You are heading into very busy homeschool years, and you are making good decisions. Keep sewing and blogging (now and then), just to stay in touch. You'll want this creative venue down the road a piece, when your girls have moved on to college. For now, just enjoy them. The time goes so quickly. Hit me up if you need encouragement from time to time. I'd be happy to chat!

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  43. I applaud you for your decision! You are right, you will never get these moments back with your children. My sons are 29 and 26 and I still wonder where the time has gone. I remember those times thinking, "will I ever get to do what I would like to do". I did work for five years after our oldest was born and even now I will tell a young mother, "if you do not have to work, don't". Enjoy your family and your hobbies! Congratulations on your decision!

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  44. I'm so glad for you. I've always said that when you turn something you love, into a job, at some point you forget what you loved about it. It's the reason I don't sew for other people unless I'm making a gift for them that is given from my heart. Rest and get well and enjoy each day. We have so few.

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  45. It’s a brave thing you’re doing, Heidi. I admire you! We need to say no sometimes for the sake of our family and health. I’m a Mennonite and sew mine and my daughters’ dresses. My grandmother was a scrap quilter. I would love to be, too, but don’t have time at this stage in life. For years now, seeing photos and reading about your creations filled that longing for me without actually sewing. Thank you!

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  46. I am so happy for you to live with 'No regrets' mindset. I had an insane job where there weren't enough hours in the day to juggle all the todo's. Remember to tell yourself this is a transition, and it will take time for you to settle into your new priorities. Proud of you to make a big change that will make you happy!

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  47. So glad your illness is not life threatening...just life changing! So happy for you and your family.

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  48. Oh, Heidi-I completely understand where you are coming from. I too, had a serious wake up with my health 6 years ago-I woke up 6 years ago and my life was changed forever. I have now been housebound for all those years with MS plus multiple other autoimmune illnesses and cannot believe how quickly things can change (and I used to be a nurse, so I know better-I just always thought I was doing the “right” things for my body-but that is not always how it works). I have since looked at life very differently-really realizing what you only live once means. You truly never have another chance on this earth and when you cram your life full as we type A’s usually do-and every thing we do is perfect, huh?-you do miss out on so much of the important things. Also, looking back on the time I wasted either putting makeup on and styling my hair and shopping for just the right clothing, etc-it is so silly to me now. What I wouldn’t give to have that time back, because who cares what others think about how I look or what they think I should be accomplishing-I have people that love me for just plain old me😃. These days, I do so much slow, slow sewing-only getting on the machine, if I am able too-have tons of WIPs (because I still love everything I see, but don’t have the energy for it, and my stitches-not so great anymore because of my hands-but I love sewing and fabric more than ever and actually have even more satisfaction when I finish a project. Pajamas and a ponytail are my mainstays-because what little energy I have goes to those I love-my spouse and two grown sons who live at home to help care for me. I have been here through it all with you and following on IG, you have kept me company through these long days, inspired me, made me a little envious with all you have been able to accomplish😊-while I have sat in bed-I will so miss you as a professional sewist-BUT, I get it-you are doing the best thing you could ever do for your health, your family, your life. And I am so glad that we will still be hearing from you and seeing your makes every now and then-be well, be happy, be loved! One of the things I am most grateful for is that this did not happen to me until my children had been raised to adulthood and that I did not miss out on being their Mom as they were growing up-to me, motherhood was and is-the best thing I have ever done.

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  49. I wish you all the best in your shift back to family and health first. Can't wait to see the secret projects!

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  50. I, to some degree, understand where you're coming from. I too have taken a break from blogging, doing projects for companies, and even from my Etsy shop. I just want to focus on creating for me and for the sake of creating rather than creating for a blog post or some other deadline. It's time to exit the crafty rat race and enjoy the freedom of working on what you choose to at the pace you choose. Good for you and I wish you the best of luck!

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  51. As the song says: 'Don't Worry, Be Happy...'.
    Enjoy, and we'll look forward to you sharing when it feels right.

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  52. Wishing you all the best in life and your revisit to a simpler life. I applaud you for breaking free from the chains and taking control of your life again. More people need to do this.

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  53. Thanks so much for sharing , Heidi! I will look forward to seeing your blog and beautiful creations ! Hopefully you are already beginning to heal!!
    Susie

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  54. I hope you have time to read all these,some day, in your own sweet time and know all the love that comes with them. Yours was always the first blog I opened as your style just is so me. If and when you are up to it I will waiting!!! Rest Well!

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  55. Thank you for being so honest about what brought you to this place. The physical effects of stress are so underplayed in our society where perfection and an ability to do every. single. thing is so highly valued.
    Unfortunately it is a lie that is constantly perpetuated by social media influencers and so many women with their dual roles fall victim to it.
    Do whatever you have to do to take care of you and when you have a good handle on that, to take care of your family. Nothing else matters in the grand scheme of things. Trust me I have lived and am living with this lesson.

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  56. Heidi I am so happy for you and that you are going to put yourself and your family first. That is the most important thing. Life goes by to fast not to stop and smell the roses.
    Love and Hugs
    donna

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  57. Heidi, it is so refreshing to hear of a wife and mother who is willing to make the sacrifice and put their family first! All to often it is the opposite, the wife and mother claims her right to make her mark in the world, forgetting she can make a very important mark in raising her children. Congratulations, on your love of family and new found wisdom. I am sure it will not go unrewarded.

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  58. And just remember - when your girls head to college, a new season will begin and if you want it, the sewing world will still be there and you will feel ten yrs younger than you do now. We can have it all - just not at the same time!!

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  59. Welcome back to the lighter side of life!! Keeping our priorities straight is one of the hardest things in life...it is so easy to have things slide slowly (then faster and faster) out of whack until you feel like you are the last person in line playing crack the whip on ice. Enjoy your family and friends...we'll enjoy seeing your joy return as you start playing with fabric for fun!

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  60. Without your health you have nothing. Enjoy your break, your family and your sewing at your own pace. I hope you recover quickly and rediscover your joy in creating. I thank you for all your time and input in the quilting world, you have been a real influence on my sewing journey. Your journey is taking you in a different direction and I hope it brings you joy and peace.

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  61. �� Good for you for choosing the good portion! There is nothing like a medical crisis for providing that clarity. What is most important becomes so clear. I hope that you are able to recover and that it all becomes fun again and a way of relieving stress as opposed to being the cause of stress.

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  62. May you be blessed with rest and health recovery, and your time with your family be overwhelming filled delight and joy.

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  63. Bless you Heidi, this is so obviously the right choice for you — and a very courageous decision to make, even walking away from a book you've worked on for nearly a year.

    I hope your health bonus will be immediate, and that you can enjoy your family and friends.

    Congratulations to you on taking this life-changing, life-saving decision.

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  64. You'll never regret refocusing on your family. And as your kids get to their teen years, they will need your time and listening ear more than ever. And they will take even more patience, and being under constant stress from trying to meet deadlines will make it harder to be patient! You have made the best decision in the long run! They grow up so fast, and in ten or so years you'll be wondering where the time went, and how they grew up so quickly. And once they leave home you will be missing them. You'll be able to look back and you'll be so glad that you were there for them in their younger years! So glad to see a mother focusing on the most important thing in her life!! God will bless you! Hugs, H

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  65. It takes courage to walk away! Please marvel at your accomplishments and then rest! When the oldest of my 4 kids entered 5 th grade, I also came to the same conclusion. I cut back my social life and resigned from some committees at school and the principal confided that when her kids also entered 5 th grade, she stepped away from all extra curriculars to focus on family. The children become involved in the world outside our homes and you will be glad to have a clear mind and renewed spirit to help guide the children as they spread their wings. Priorities! Bless you!

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  66. Well done! Welcome to the next phase of your life. You're not saying goodbye to the previous life but the skills and friendships you have amassed over the past eight years are still with you. Happy days ahead!

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  67. I just heard your interview on the American Patchwork & Quilting Podcast and at the end they stated that you were taking a break and that it you had posted on our blog about so I just read your blog. We all understand as family and your health are more important than sharing your talents with us. You can always come back at it full force once your three girls are grown and on their own. They grow up way to fast and you do not want to regret missing all of those wonderful memories with them. Wishing you the best and looking forward to see you again the future.

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  68. We will miss you but we all have to do what is best for our health and family, this will be a new and exciting new chapter for you and I wish you all the best, Lorraine

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  69. So happy for you and your very precious family. It was the right decision to make. Your spirits should be lifted by now and your body will heal. Be proud. I know I could have gone down your path, but chose to just design and sew for family and friends, keeping my IG account as a diary and a place to watch others create. Take care Heidi.

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  70. Hi Heidi. I've read this post over and over since you first wrote it, pondering how some of what you say applies to me. While I'm not yet a fabric designer, I have dreams of doing that some day but now I'm worried that the deadlines will be too stressful. I know that I can design patterns on my own timeline and I'm comfortable with that. I don't home school but much of my time is taking care of my kids so I don't want to limit that. Yes they are getting older and don't need as much hand holding, which is good and sad all at the same time, but I still want to be here for them. Of course Girl Scouts takes a ton of my time but it's so worth it. I believe in the organization and what we are accomplishing. I guess I don't know how to make it all work. I'll continue to ponder it some more but perhaps I'll dip my toes in a little further quilting wise and see how it goes.

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  71. Those precious girls are your true legacy and you will be so happy that you chose to spend this time with them before they launch out into the world on their own. My oldest daughter is heading to her second year of college and while being a stay at home mom hasn’t been, and still isn’t easy, I wouldn’t trade the years I’ve gotten to spend with them for anything in the world.

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Aren't you the sweetest!! Thanks for making my day by leaving a comment!

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